Rangers ‘concern’ emerges as Scottish sides avoid Euro disaster ‘against Albanian tractor factory XI’


It was a largely Scottish football week as it got back underway again.

Last Saturday Rangers drew with Motherwell and Motherwell were the best team; it’s not every day you can say that. They were very front-footed and they disrupted Rangers even after they had taken the lead, equalising only after 80-odd minutes by which time Rangers had fallen asleep.

Boydy was full of passive-aggressive emotion and was disgusted like only Boydy can be. He’s the media’s go-to man for Rangers outrage and it’s been a rich diet recently.

Russell Martin looked mean, moody and magnificent and slagged the team off. His hair looked exceptionally thick and floppy. I bet he shaves his back.

On Sunday Sky showed Bournemouth v West Ham and Manchester United v Everton. It was an NBC broadcast from America with the excellent Rebecca Lowe who we lost to America several years ago presenting with an articulate Tim Howard and sensible Graeme Le Saux. I rather enjoyed it despite Peter Drury’s shouting – though not the full name, interestingly.

John Champion did the Manchester United game. As exhibition football goes, it was decent but drawing any conclusions from it seemed ambitious. Robbie Earle said it was a 75% version of the Premier League. Maybe. David Moyes looked like he was in his wife-bought holiday clothes and was curiously out of context in the futuristic enormodome, like your grandad in an iPhone store. It was populated by a Club World Cup-sized crowd who seemed enthusiastic for the two consecutive games.

Monday and it was time for Hearts, ft. Derek McInnes not-acquired-in-Scotland orange tan v Aberdeen. Presenter Eilidh Barbour and pundits Boydy, Faddy and Chris Sutton must see more of each other than their own family. They seem to be always there. I imagine they travel together to games in an old Vauxhall Viva as full-time pundits. That could be a sitcom actually.

Hearts won and are now top of the league. This is the time of year we wonder if someone other than Celtic can win the title, before having our hopes crushed by Christmas. Great football, though, which Hearts won. Superb strike by the curiously eyebrowless Lawrence Shankland, Neil Warnock-style.

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As I say, it’s Scottish football all the way this week. What do you mean, you didn’t watch it? It’s much better fun than the Premier League and usually entertains.

We’re back at Ibrox on Tuesday for the Champions League qualifier and the kick up the proverbials at the weekend seemed to work. Rangers were excellent, especially in the first half and didn’t give Victoria Plzen a sniff. They should have won by more than three and the failure to really drive home their dominance will concern some.

Former Rangers winger Peter Lovenkrands was a pundit and was the most Glaswegian Danish man you’ve ever heard. There’s always a hint of strangulated surprised disbelief from commentator Liam McLeod when a Scottish team scores in Europe, like it’s a big surprise. Antman, who was just signed, looked to be an excellent addition, not least because he has the name of a superhero.

Rapid Vienna v Dundee United in the Europa Conference League third qualifying round first leg was brought to us by BBC Scotland on Thursday. As a lover of the EFL, I would normally have watched Port Vale v Cardiff City but you don’t get to see Dundee United in Europe that often. Usually clubs spend all season sweating to get a European place and then lose after one or two games against a tractor factory XI from Albania, which makes all that effort seem a bit pointless. But then in Scottish football the results are so varied and unpredictable – at least if you take Celtic out of the equation, that’s why it’s so enjoyable.

Doesn’t manager Jim Goodwin look like a social club magician, pulling bunting from his ears and sawing women in half, both of which happen anyway every Friday night in Dundee? What do you mean, have you eaten some funny mushrooms?

Sean Dillon and Scott Allan, who seem quite inexperienced and who both played for Dundee United are at least a welcome change of pundits for this one, standing at what looked like a kitchen island. Maybe they get them to do the washing up while they’re there. Rob MacLean and Billy Dodds did the comms off tube knowing BBC Scotland’s budgets.

Frankly Vienna looked several steps up from Scottish football and the home crowd was rowdy throughout. Ross County away it isn’t. They scored first and Dundee United did well to equalise but just couldn’t hold onto the ball.

The Vienna coach is wearing jeans like a normal person, which you rarely see. They took the lead again before half time, looked too classy for the Tangerines and were better on the ball. The score and time was in the top right of the screen which made me realise it is usually on the opposite side.

It was a different story in the second half. Dundee United were excellent defensively and drew level. A Vienna goal was disallowed for offside. They had to really work for that 2-2 draw, rode their luck at times but it was well deserved in the end.

And as the Championship returns at the weekend, we’ll be back to the seven-day-a-week football and I’m here for it.



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