The official guide to ranking dunks

This article was originally
published on Jan. 16, 2021.

We’ve all been here
before.

It’s a random Wednesday. Full
slate of games, hard to keep track of everything. Maybe you’re
peeping an ESPN matchup. Perhaps you’re watching your favorite team
on the local channel if you’re in the market, or you’re streaming
it LEGALLY ON NBA LEAGUE PASS BECAUSE THAT IS THE ONLY WAY YOU ARE
ALLOWED TO DO IT. WINK.

But anyway, you’re watching a
game. You’re roaming Twitter. And then a tweet catches your eye:
PLAYER X HAS DUNKED ON LEBRON JAMES.

Your brow raises. You see a few
tweets from your online pals big-upping the play. You’re really
interested now. You click on the video from a Big Social Media
Account. And this is the dunk:

The excitement drops a little
bit. That’s a nice dunk from Wendell Carter Jr. LeBron James is
underneath the basket, and there’s a challenge. But something
doesn’t feel
right about it.

Then you see a different angle
of the Dunk Heard ‘Round The World.

You feel betrayed. LeBron didn’t
get dunked on; LeBron’s arm got dunked on as he jumps out of the darn play!
This isn’t Scottie
Pippen on Patrick Ewing or Vince Carter on Alonzo
Mourning! I can yell at
these clouds if I want to!

If you’re anything like me,
you’re tired of being misled. If I hear or read that a player got
baptized, I want to see some Holy Water coming out of the rim after
the aerial duel. And if you are like me, this is the piece for you.
This is the guide of all guides, breaking down the different types
of dunks. A universal standard of slams, if you will, so we can
finally get on the same page about poster dunks.

A brief note before digging in.
I am using a tier system so it’s easier to separate the types of
dunks. Like many things in life, the scale can slide on a
case-by-case basis. For example, breakaway dunks are generally
uncontested, which makes them the lowest tier of dunk for me.
However, a breakaway dunk from 360-enthusiast Zach LaVine is
different — and much cooler — than the two-handed flushes we see
from Jimmy Butler. Each dunk is still its own
thing.

Disclaimer: Alley-oops can
fall under virtually all of these categories, with the obvious
exception of put-backs.

TIER 10: BREAKAWAYS

Break-away dunks are pretty
self-explanatory. There’s a long rebound after a miss. A player
leaks out early, and gets a dunk with no resistance. They’re pretty
basic with a few exceptions. LaVine, Paul George or Glenn Robinson
III may bust out a 360 or windmill on occasion. LeBron has made the
one-handed tomahawk a staple of his repertoire.

It’s basic, but it’s so darn
cool. Power, a little bit of flair, the hang time. All that good
stuff.

TIER 9: TIP SLAMS

I like the timing, positioning and coordination it takes
to pull off a putback slam. The lower-level ones are uncontested,
but can be rated higher depending on the work a player puts in
before the ball comes off the rim. Take this multiple-effort
possession from Larry Nance Jr. as an example:

TIER 8: BUSINESS DECISIONS

The Og: Shaquille O'Neal

Also popularized by: LeBron James, Blake Griffin, Zion
Williamson

This is for the power dunkers.
Whether it’s in transition, flowing off of a broken play or
rumbling down the lane after a high-ball screen, it’s hilarious to
watch players actively decide, “Nope, I don’t get paid enough for
this.” Take this play from the 2016-17 season, featuring Blake
Griffin:

The key actor here is Willy
Hernangomez (No. 14). He is watching this snug pick-and-roll all
the way through. His man, noted three-point marksman DeAndre
Jordan, is chilling above the break. Not only can Hernangomez make
the rotation to cut off Griffin at the rim, he
should make that rotation because Jordan is not a
threat at all. Instead, he begins to load up, quickly realizes that
Griffin will put him in the gulag, and decides against challenging
the shot.

Hilarious sequence.

TIER 7: FLY-BYS

This is where having a
discerning eye is important. When you think about it, this kind of
dunk — and the praise that these types of dunk typically generate
— is about deception.

A defender jumps across a player
to make it look like he’s legitimately challenging the dunk.
There’s no real threat of a block or swipe. The dunk happens
because, again, there’s no real threat to it otherwise. And
somehow both
players end up looking good. The
dunker gets “poster” equity they don’t deserve; the defender gets a
slight pat on the back for giving effort instead of making a
business decision.

It’s all a darn farce. A
cool-looking farce at times, but a farce
nonetheless.

TIER 6: SELF-LOBS

We’ve reached the coolest of the
non-contact dunks. It doesn’t get much better than throwing the
ball to yourself for a slam, man. Look at Jamal Murray getting
himself out of trouble.

TIER 5: “IN THE VICINITY” SLAMS (Also known as
ITVs)

Folks, the rubber is starting to
reach the road. The ITVs involve actual attempts at a contest
and/or a little contact, a step up from the Fly-bys. This is where
I’d say the Wendell-on-LeBron dunk falls, though I wouldn’t be mad
at anyone that would classify it as a Fly-by. A better example
would be this slam from Matisse Thybulle last season.

There’s an attempt at a
challenge, but Thybulle still gets the better of Mason Plumlee. But
Plumlee doesn’t get dunked on. There isn’t enough contact to call it a poster
of the highest order.

This is also where failed
chasedown blocks come in. With guys flying in from behind, the
dunk-on element just isn’t there most of the time. Take the famous
Kobe-on-LeBron dunk from the 2011 All-Star game.

TIER 4: PUTBACK POSTERS

I’ve always gone back and forth
with myself about where to place these types of dunks. On one hand,
the blindsided nature of it makes it a bit unfair to defenders. You
can’t defend against what you can’t see. However, there’s enough
contact at play, and a player Mossin’ a dude and flushing it down
is generally some high level stuff.

Yes, that is the #BASED and
#RARE Gerald Green in a Celtics uni. And yeah that’s Mason Plumlee
again. Sorry, man.

TIER 3: DUNK-ONS/CHARGE CRUSHERS

We’ve reached the portion of the
program where dudes are getting legitimately yammed on, but there
are a couple of factors that keep it from ranking
higher.

First, the level of contest
still matters. A lot of these dunks feature dudes sliding over in
an attempt to take a charge (hence the alternative name). The
higher level posters feature someone trying to actually block the
dunk. Sure, a charge and blocked dunk are functionally the same in
terms of the result the defense wants — taking away two points —
but we’re talking about highlights here.

Secondly, and I admit we’re
splitting hairs a bit, size also matters. The first dunk I thought
of was Nuggets-era J.R Smith yamming it over Gary Neal:

Objectively a good dunk, but
Gary Neal is ground bound and short. You have to dock some points
there. I’m sorry. The famous DeAndre Jordan-on-Brandon Knight
flush, while iconic, also falls in this category.

The higher end of this would be
another classic involving the Spurs: LeBron dunking on Tim
Duncan.

That’s more like it.

TIER 2: THE THROW-IN

The and: Blake Griffin

ALSO POPULARIZED BY: Derrick Jones Jr.

DUNK TRUTHERS DON’T READ
THIS!

***

Dunk Truthers are stupid
poopyheads.

Yes, we’re well aware that dunks
that involve the rim being grabbed — or at least touched — are
more pure, whatever the heck that means. But you look at Blake
Griffin embarrassing the life out of Timofey Mozgov and tell me it
isn’t one of greatest athletic feats you’ve ever seen.

Derrick Jones Jr. has some
gnarly ones in his bag as well, highlighted by this lob he
converted against the Raptors that still doesn’t make much sense to
me.

TIER 1: THE PURE POSTER

Pippen on Ewing. Carter on
‘Zo. Baron Davis on Andrei Kiironko.
Michael Jordan on, well, name almost any big man you can think of
that played in the ’90s.

We can go more modern, like
Larry Nance Jr. doing this to pre-DPOY-candidate Brook
Lopez: